People of Color versus Honkies, a Palin satire

Sarah Palin's Acquired Ego Priapism

My 'myspace' friend, Casie, posted this rather cryptic blog:

"but....I don't want to hunt caribou..

Someone (who might not remain nameless) suggested to me that my intense dislike of Sarah Palin was actually internalized misogyny. I suggested it was actually externalized literacy. You should try it. Really."

This cryptic posting by Casie recalls to mind my own accusing certain women (once upon a time;) of "Misogyny" and rather than feel a pang of guilt, something I rarely experience in my native sociopathic mentality, I decided instead to accept the challenge on behalf of the to now anonymous 'someone' with the following 'externalized literacy.'

So I will write about an Indian, a culturally intact Indian. Imagine the insanity of a tribal mentality taught to oberve and honestly remark on the world around them suddenly cast adrift into the ego shielding 'Honky' sea of political correctness. Now, this native mentality is only certifibly insane because of context, or better said, an out of context circumstance. Because in the native world from which he had sprung, politically correct is actually a buzz word for the circling buzzards of humor, any Native who hears the buzz words 'politically correct' is apt to drop everything and listen in to the most recent wisdom and insight (always in the format of the often untranslatable to the Whiteman 'Indian Humor') into ripping the people who trashed 200 years of treaties and moved on pretending as though nothing had ever happened.

This endeavor goes to shatter stereotype of the 'taciturn' Indian which is actually a reflection of the little understood Native cultural communication phenomena of rather than say something honest to a Whiteman that threatens the Whiteman's ego and be killed, just shut up. Unless of course, you are not afraid to die.

Now, for simple literary device sake, we will make this Indian 1) White skinned and 2) the last of his kind. How could this happen and the said Native persona is alive in the 21st century a full 150 years since the Native custom of a White captive child raised to be Indian?

Well now, to be honest in the Native way, we must address this portion of the of the literary endeavor with a joke story drawn from real life, a sort of collage of facts assembled from bits and pieces of diverse experience combined with anecdotal information to create the culturally intact inherent Native wisdom found in their humor. In other words, parts of the story from here out is an autobiographical facts incorporated multi-faceted rip-off of other peoples life stories and experience. And because unlike the White world, the Native world entertains paradox in daily approach to life, some more of what follows is simply made up from the imagination's fund of plausible improbabilities.

We'll call the Indian 'Ron' although his native name in the Cree Indian country he hails from is 'Moon-i-Yas' which can be translated either "Not like us" or "Paleface." In Ron's case it is "Paleface" when properly translated because the other translation applies to people who act like Whites rather than look like them. And by Native definition, Ron is Indian on account of his cultural behavior, his 'pale face' simply being unfortunate circumstance or, better said from the Indian perspective, that peculiar cosmic joke of his life circumstance which one way or other manifests the Trickster aspect in all Native experience.

To kick off the story, back in the late1940s there were people just like today's truly Honky folk, real White people, that behaved in all sorts of self- repressed ways and repressed their own kids because of their staunch Puritan belief in H.L. Menecken's maximum that 'proper' Puritans must preoccupy themselves with the horrifying thought "Someone, somewhere, might be happy." So they learned to follow Jesus command to 'love' by 'loving' to hate. Because of the 'love' factor in 'loving' to hate themselves, their kids and their fellow man, making 'love' is more often a rape than not, 'loving' their brothers and sisters is 'loving' to tell other people how to live their lives, and 'loving' security is to create an insecure society so they can 'love' the idea of a police state.

Now the daughters of these fundamentalist people, whether the arch-conservative Protestant or the ultra-conservative Catholic, are not so different to some of today's young women, raised in families that with bared fangs dare anyone to so much as mention sex to their children let alone have it taught anywhere other than at the kegger parties of the young people who learn to hide the realities of their lives from their parents because you are punished whether you lie or tell the truth. So lying becomes in vogue because if you are young and you lie, you might not be caught and punished for enjoying yourself whereas if you tell the truth you will be punished everytime.

So impromptu sex education at the young peoples kegger parties gives a whole new meaning to expressions such as 'powerpoint' and the many unwed young mothers resulting are simply one manifestation of God's will and Jesus commandment that people 'love' (to be in miserable circumstance in the case of the Palins and Puritans.)

So in the late 1940s a young Catholic girl had gone from her conservative family upbringing and all girls school where the nuns would not touch sex ed with the proverbial ten foot pole, in Chicago, to college at Gonzaga in Washington State where she was intruduced to sex education as a sorority girl by innumerable happy to oblige young men at the 'Girls Gone Wild' parties before the era of exploiting these events on video tape.

Concealing her inevitable pregnancy from her far away folks, not having known what a condom is, she was driving home to Chicago with her new born at summer break, this was in 1950, give or take a year or so, and dropped the infant off on the doorstep at the Catholic Rectory at Havre, Montana, with a note pinned of the swaddling infants dress: "Ron."

As fate would have it, a Chippewa Medicine Man from the nearby Rocky Boy Indian Reservation was at the cinema close by, he enjoyed the classic 'Bugs Bunny' cartoons preceeding the movie and paid his entry fee for that but then always left. The movies themselves were non-sensical to him.

Walking along the street, he noticed a dropped envelope, picked it up and was surprized to see it was stuffed with cash. He noticed the black ink stamp of the Catholic parish on the envelope and walked to give it to the priest at the rectory and found the infant. Stepping around the child and standing on the step above, he knocked and the priest answered the door. The Medicine Man stated "I found your lost money" and handed the surprised priest the envelope. The priest, who hated this Medicine Man who his Native parishioners would sometimes sneak off to see behind his back, nearly shouted "Returning it won't buy your way out of Hell" and slammed the door in his face before he could tell him about the child. He knocked several times again, patiently waited, but there was no further opening of the door. He picked up the kid and took "Ron" home.

Given to the Medicine Man's neice who had her own infant the same age, "Ron" was suckled, named "Moon-i-Yas", surrounded with love and the native joke the newly found 'twin' was "Indian immaculate conception." No one of the Indians wanted to give the found kid to the meaner than shit racist White people at Havre, Montana, it just seemed wrong. When it came time to take the infants to the Indian Agency for birth certificates and enrollment, the Agency people just figured they were fraternal twins and there was a White father of the one child. So "Ron" grew up Indian. He moved to Al-boo-quark-ee in the southwest because of his fond memories of the old Medicine Man mimicking Bugs Bunny's pronunciation of that city's name.

Fiftyeight years after his birth, when President Palin ordered DNA tests on all Indians to reduce the Native Enrollment and save money better spent on wars than Indian health by kicking Indians that could not demonstrate 75% Native American blood off their reservations, it was discovered Moon-i-Yas a.k.a. "Ron" was the last White captive and he became a national sensation. What bloodthirsty savage had murdered his family and kidnapped this child? And anyway, any White Indian had to be a subversive, the bloodthirsty murdering savages that raised "Ron" had to have imparted their pagan licentiousness to him. The FBI was ordered to investigate "Ron", it was a matter of 'National Security.'

Meanwhile Ron had discovered a few things about White people. Like when an arch-conservative fundamentalist republican principal of a lily-white charter school surreptiously run as a private christian institution breaking every civil rights law you can imagine discovers you have raised your own kid Indian, all of the state apparatus is arrayed against you for the satanic act of being an ultra-liberal permissive parent. Allergies causing red eyes are interpreted as the child being a devil but because there is no law to charge you with for that, you are investigated for drugs. When you are honest enough to fight back for your kid and call a spade a spade, it is 'undue hostility towards authority' and you are investigated for terrorism.

Because Ron really IS Indian, he fights back with taunts and satires, in the post –modern weapons of emails and blogs;0) In one such email, "Ron" taunts his kid's teachers with the idea of "Jewells Misogyny", where in this republican institution of accererated education attended by the children of the rich and powerful only the brightest and most beautiful women teachers are hired… and must submit to the ego of the male institution.

The end result? Either liberal women who hate themselves (Jewells Misogyny) for their participation in this travesty, job security being more important than ethics and fighting back or, women with "Acquired Ego Priapism" like Sarah Palin or the 'imaginary' school principal. Women who behave like sexist and racist men. Woman male rapists of our values of tolerance and compassion, the liberal and libertarian values that are uniquely American, the ability to live and let live. Women of Palin's class which join with criminal right wing men in covering up constitutional crimes with religious façade Obama is afraid to pick on.

Of course the initial culture clash long ago was the Indians being shocked at how harshly the Putitans treated their children, the cause of many a 'captive White' raised in Native freedom and, conversely the Puritan horror at the liberty of the Native children resulting in the saying "The only good Indian is a dead Indian." Not so different to Palin's persecution of the Native Alaskan children of today in her administrations racist drive to remove Native jurisdiction over Native child welfare. Palin is a Honky (not hockey) fundamentalist White male oriented racist woman with Acquired Ego Priapism, i.e. a chauvinist.

What I mostly enjoy about this story is in the modern politically correct world where only women can refer to a woman as a Bitch, and get away with it, no differently than only blacks can call themselves Niggers, Asians can call themselves Gook or Chinks or Jews calling themselves Kikes without a hate crime referral, but this Indian author in a White skin can call right wing White people in absolute racist terms "Honkies" and totally get away with it. I can say that especially because Supreme Court Justice Alito referred to "Marauding Indians" in a in a context of self-defense in recent decision on firearms, I suppose he thinks we should be hunted like wolves from planes. But because no one can comment on physical attributes such as gender or skin color outside their own race or sex, this prevents in any politically correct circumstance the real or broad examination of the perverse sexist and racist BEHAVIORS tied to the descriptions which underlie psychologically male oriented right wing Honky criminal women like Palin. Oh, and lest I forget if you did not see the point, now days the liberals are the 'Indians' and subject to the metaphorical Rovian Indian massacres in today's world. Hey liberal America, how's it feel to be the Indians?? How do you like getting massacred??? How about fighting back???? F**K Barak Obama's nice guy treaties with the right wing. It never worked for the first liberals, the Indians. You all better learn how to fight back or your future is starving to death on the Reservation.

Gee. Somehow the story did not end up funny. I'll work on that.