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11 November, 2008

Blessed thoughts about those little "wafer thin" Communion wafers

Let's see if we can get the Goofy Google ads to sell us some communion wafers!

Man allegedly steals communion wafers during mass
Tuesday, November 11 | 1:19 p.m.
The Associated Press

Police in Florida said they arrested a Connecticut man after he tried to steal communion wafers during a church service. The Martin County Sheriff's Office said a 33-year-old man was cornered by fellow churchgoers when he grabbed a handful of wafers from the priest during communion services Saturday.

The Stuart News reported that the man was being held down by six or seven offended parishioners when deputies arrived at St. Martin de Porres Catholic Church in Jensen Beach. Police say two parishioners, ages 82 and 61, received minor injuries in the scuffle.

The man was charged with two counts of simple battery, theft and disruption of a religious assembly. He was being held Tuesday on $2,000 bond at the Martin County Jail.


But one might ask,

Why was there a scuffle over a mitt-ful of bread?

According to the link above, the communion host is really, but no, really, the body of Jesus Christ. Not figuratively, but really. And the wafers are getting big bucks apparently from Satanists and OTO members on the black market.


$50 to $600 is paid on the black market in Rome for consecrated Hosts, depending on the Church they came from and the Priest who consecrated them.

1. Do you believe as the Church teaches, that the Consecrated Host is Jesus Himself actually and truly - not symbolically or spiritually, but really and physically?

2. Are you aware that the tiniest crumb or particle of the Host is still the entire Body Blood Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ as long as it retains the physical properties of bread?

3. Are you aware that a sacrilege occurs if even the smallest particle of a Communion Host falls on the floor or is sat on in the pew, or is swept up with the trash when the Church is cleaned?

4. Do you soak your hands in clean water after you have touched the Body of Our Lord to make sure there are no minute particles left on your hands (to be dropped on the ground or the floor of your car or flushed down the toilet or whatever) before you do anything else? After the water sits for a safe time, do you pour the clean water on the ground under a tree or in a flower bed or some other safe place?

5. Do you know that the Church still today forbids the practice of giving Communion in the hand, with exceptions allowed only in the most extreme circumstances, and ONLY if there is NO CHANCE of sacrilege occurring? Since you are claiming there is an extreme necessity to handle the Blessed Sacrament yourself, what precautions are you taking to protect Our Blessed Lord's Body in your hands? God takes this very seriously - do you?

We would do well often to send our Guardian Angel to visit and worship Him, on our behalf, in all the most abandoned and distasteful places He may be imprisoned due to the carelessness of someone who accidentally left the Church with a tiny particle of a Communion Host on his or her hand that dropped off in some forsaken place.

My Dear Guardian Angel, I urgently beg you to hurry to every deserted, forsaken and awful place where my poor Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is lost and abandoned by the careless actions of those who thoughtlessly dare to receive His Holy Sacrament into their unconsecrated hands. Rush to Him and tell him how sorry I am and how much I wish to love and worship Him in those places where nobody will ever come, and where He may languish for years. Please find every place He is present but unnoticed and unattended, and visit Him regularly for me, offering Him my heart in union with the Immaculate Heart of Mary, to love and comfort Him. My Jesus, I am so sorry; I love You. Thank you.


  1. When I was in boyscout camp in Rhode Island, Camp Yawgoog (pronounced probably incorrectly YAH-goo by we non-native Americans), one of the boys in the troop served as an altar boy for the Roman Catholic chapel. After service one day (which for Roman Catholics could have been Wednesday evening, Friday evening, Saturday evening, or Sunday morning, I don't remember which on this occasion), he came back to our campsite with a stack of consecrated communion wafers.

    Being raised a Methodist Protestant, I had never seen these. We used real bread, and sometimes even real wine depending on the minister (but usually not). Catholics did not get to have any wine (or grape juice as we usually got). Only the priests got to drink the wine (both during and after service I later learned).

    Anyway, Joe passed out the wafers to us with much solemnity. The Catholic boys all took it very seriously and put them in their mouths. The few Protestants among us (me included) tasted but then spit out these "hosts". They tasted horrible!

    Since we had each been given a bunch of them, we heathen Protestants began to fling them like miniature frisbees. Joe flipped out at that!

    He began to run around trying to collect them screaming that we were throwing Jesus in the air and were going to Hell!

    Well, I was used to Roman Catholics telling me I was going to go to Hell because I was a Protestant, so I retorted with my father's line. "Roman Catholics are idolaters and Mary worshipers and will burn in Hell!"

    In the end we all went swimming and forgot about it, but it is funny to remember it now almost 40 years later.

  2. That's hilarious! Those would be worth a fortune today.

    Just this summer, the Catholic Church tried to call stealing a communion host a “hate crime”.

    Host Of Problems: Webster Cook Is Receiving Death Threats For Stealing Eucharist From Church

    Webster Cook, a college student from Orange County, Florida has been receiving death threats from Catholics after stealing the Eucharist from a church. For those who don’t know, the Eucharist is a consecrated communion wafer which is believed to have literally become Christ’s flesh. Therefore, it has to be handled very carefully. Dropping it on the floor or walking around with one is a huge no-no. But, then again, so is threatening to smite thy neighbor’s ass with great righteousness.

    Webster, who attends the University of Central Florida, claims he took the host in order to show it to a friend.

    Webster gave the wafer back, but the Catholic League, a national watchdog organization for Catholic rights claims that is not enough.
    “We don’t know 100% what Mr. Cooks motivation was,” said Susan Fani a spokesperson with the local Catholic diocese. “However, if anything were to qualify as a hate crime, to us this seems like this might be it.”

    We just expect the University to take this seriously,” she added “To send a message to not just Mr. Cook but the whole community that this kind of really complete sacrilege will not be tolerated.”

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  4. What morons!
    It's a tasteless piece of crap. Only a retard would think it's a god!
    I really am glad I was raised a Protestant and taught that Roman Catholics were retards, because they ARE!
    I no longer consider myself Christian because, in a small part, I refuse to accept any god would let himself be killed by his worshipers, but for the most part, when my dog was hit by a car when I was a young boy, I prayed for the god I was taught existed to raise her from the dead, and that god refused, and that's when I, as a 9 or 10 year old, realized there was no god and I had been lied to by a bunch of ass-holes who just wanted money from people!

    If I had my "druthers" I'd ban every religion on this planet that worshiped a god. As far as I'm concerned, if they want to worship a god, they can go to Mars. Mars needs people; send them there!